We found out we were expecting back in April of this year. We were eager to have a baby, and it was one of those, "why don't we just run to the store reallly quick and get a test" type of things. Not pre-planned with balloons or cake or anything. So we grabbed a two-pack cuz movies tell you those things don't always work, right? I was too excited to wait the FULL minute, and looked at it after about ten seconds. One line showed up, so of course I was instantly depressed. But C.J., being wise and more patient-ish, said "go look again, you hardly waited at all." So I did, and a second, much more faint line was showing!! Where was the box? I had to check the box to make sure a faint line counted!! Also, I had to take the other test to be positive! After getting positives on both, knowing that the faint line DOES count, we just kind of sat there. I know, really exciting of us. We had just found out the news we were dying to know, and all we did was sit in silence. I think I might have gotten up to get ready for bed at one point, who knows. Then things started to sink in a little better, we hugged and kissed and said how excited we were, I think.
We originally intended to wait until Mother's Day, which was just 1-2 weeks away to tell the news. But I got all impatient after 3 days and we sort of sloppily broke the news, sorry family, it would have been so much better if I had stuck to the plan. But good news breakers or not, this baby was on his way!!
Pregnancy, now there's something you've seen about a zillion times, yet somehow manage to KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. I remember my mom pregnant with my little sis. She was sick, very sick, for about 4 months. Then, in my 11-year-old brain, she got better and things were peachy all the way to August 10th. Sorry, Mom, I was so blind. Not that my pregnancy has been the worst, or really bad or anything, I've been really blessed with a healthy pregnancy, healthy baby, and just what I'm pretty sure are standard pregnancy symptoms. I only can think of like 2 crazy mood swing moments (C.J. Might be able to think of more) but all in all, I feel pretty darn lucky. There are dozens of tiny things you just don't KNOW, you know? Like the heartburn/reflux thing, I had no idea that would be the cause of vomiting more than nausea would. Or the sack of potatoes taped to your ribs feeling. Or your feet going slightly numb, or your brain just NOT WORKING. Then the baby moving around in there, I've seen it on other women. Maybe I'm more daft than the rest of the population, I didn't think about what that would feel like, or even that you can feel it at all. Well this little guy has sure taught me a lot about that feeling. Yesterday it felt like he was using my ribs as a sling shot.
Around September came a feeling of time-is-running-out-we-have-so-much-to-do-we-are-never-going-to-be-prepared!!! I guess they call it nesting, for me, I think it's just my normal obsessive-ness. But I think I can safely say at this moment in time, we are about as ready as we will ever be. Which is, physically, we have all the baby stuff we need, mentally, we have no idea what the heck we are in for.
Now my brain is turning to the actual birth. The thought of this baby's body coming out of my body. Respect to mothers everywhere. No matter how they come out, it's an ordeal to say the least. Billions of women have done this, so why does it suddenly feel like I'm the only one ever to have to get this baby out one of two ways? And why didn't I dedicate my entire existence to finding a faster, easier, pain-free way?? I've wasted my time doing things like piano and reading and crocheting. What little forethought I've had. Do you think three weeks is enough time? Mostly joking. Most of the time, I'm ready for this little guy to come out and don't care about the scary unknown. But almost every night, I lie awake exactly like this O,O Then I try to distract my brain with other thoughts, Facebook, scriptures, and that usually helps. And just breathe. Because in less time than I can even believe, C.J. and I will be snuggling our first little baby boy. And I can't even imagine what that will feel like. Another thing that makes me feel like no one in the world has ever experienced it because it will be a completely new, unique experience for us.
I can't wait to meet our baby boy <3
