The Female Menace

This post is not about some awesome prank I pulled or recreating a scene from the movie Dennis the Menace or anything like that.

It is about something that will be familiar to many Latter Day Saints out there though, especially the guys.

Brigham Young has been "quoted" (haha, the word "quoted" in "quotation" marks) saying that any single young man age 25 and over is a menace to society. Well I did a very pathetic internet search on that quote and all I found is that it isn't actually easy to find, as in, it might be made up. Feel free to impart any wisdom you have on the subject, I clearly have little knowledge there.

But uh, I turned 25 this year. And no husbands are in my life, at least not to my knowledge. And I kind of jokingly complained to my mom, "I'm a men-ah-ha-haaaaaace!!" And of course she said that I wasn't because she is a good mom and she loves me. She really is pretty much the best mother, guys. Anyone who knows her would fully accept that statement as true.

Anywhoooo, back to the whole menace thing. I've heard quite a few comments about my personal situation, that situation being NOT being married with kids at 25. A lot of these comments are really positive and encouraging, some are meant to be positive and encouraging, and a few are a little less then encouraging. But I would really love if you guys would let me shed some light on how I feel about all this marriage stuff. It's a little personal, but nothing that I mind people knowing.

I haven't yet discovered who it is I should marry. Pretty simple statement, yeah? Because it is that simple. I have dated A LOT. I'd like to say more than my fair share, at least in my humble opinion.
And I have yet to get a positive confirmation telling me that the person I am dating is the person I should marry. In fact, it's been quite the opposite. I have gotten feelings of sadness, discouragement and hopelessness. Do you think any of those guys I dated would want to marry a girl who looked at their future as a couple with dread?? Probably not. So not only would it have been wrong for me to marry any of them for my sake, but also for theirs.

I receive reminders often, sometimes even weekly of how important the decision of marriage is. I mean, it is SUUUUUUUUPER important. Any other decision in life, where to go to school, what to study, where to live, what jobs to take, whether I should wear a raincoat or use an umbrella, none of those even come close in importance to the marriage decision. And I know that it is very much a decision based on faith, but that's just it. I not only have faith that Heavenly Father will help me know when the right guy comes along, but I also have faith that He will let me know when someone is not the right guy, as He has done for me many times. It has almost never been easy. And I have been hard-hearted and stubborn and made some silly mistakes. And sometimes, when I see my friends, who I love and am so happy for, have these beautiful little babies and start their families, I get an ache inside my heart. But I am learning, one hour at a time that it is not up to me when or where or how and who, but that someone has a much greater plan for me than I would have had for myself. And I am so happy much of the time. I am happy because I know I am blessed in ways too numerous to list. I am happy because I have been guided and protected so much more than I could even explain. And however long this whole getting married thing takes, I know that I will be able to look back and see why at least in part, and see what blessings will have come from all this. And I will be that much more grateful for the man I will marry.

I used to feel somewhat of a clock-ticking, panicky type feeling, like this marriage thing needed to happen ASAP. But I really don't have that feeling anymore. No, instead I feel calm. I feel like I am finally patiently waiting on God's timing for me. It's taken years to feel like this. And the past few months have been the biggest personal struggle yet. But I can say that I am so happy that life is going the way it is. I can say that I know my Heavenly Father loves me and helps me through life every day. I can say that I have been given strength from unseen sources when I needed it most.

And most of all, I can say that not being married at 25 is by FAR, most definitely and absolutely NOT the worst trial in the world. In fact, it's so not nearly as bad as a young, 18 year-old, newly- graduated-from-high-school girl might think. I know, because I was that girl at one point :) And I sure do hope that up in heaven I don't come across Brigham Young and have him be like, "Actually, I did say that and I meant to include the ladies in there as well." That would be just a real buzz kill.

And I don't do this very often, but here is a verse that holds great weight with me.

Ether 12:6 And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that ^afaith is things which are ^bhoped for and ^cnot seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no ^dwitness until after the ^etrial of your faith.

Peace and blessings :)

Two First Names

Okay, enough time has past that I think I can safely write about this experience.

I met a man who is the anti-Saturn. 

As some of you know, I drive a little Saturn. That's it, just a Saturn. It has a model number, but I forget what it is. 

Now for those car guys out there who might read the word Saturn and cringe at the very sound, peace be unto you. Don't get your boxer briefs in a twist. Yes I own a Saturn. Yes they are no longer manufactured. No, I don't know all the ins and outs as to why that is. But common sense tells me that saturns probably aren't all that great. But I own one for many reasons. If I was able to own any other car that was a step up from my little t-mu, I would. Can we move on?

But as I mentioned earlier, I met the very anti-Saturn himself. If you think you hate saturns, you would be a breath of refreshing, rose-scented summer air next to this guy. 

His name?? Ryan Mason. I don't mind putting his name on here because as he himself informed me, he cannot be traced online. Okay, he must be cooler and more secretive than the CIA itself. Well now you're online, Ryan Mason, take that!!!

We met at church. I, a lowly Reno native and he, a born and bred Utahn. He visited my singles ward just that one week. But that was enough to forever sour me on the idea of one, Ryan Mason. (Notice how I keep using his untraceable name) ps, he has two first names. NEVER trust a guy with two first names. That's like life lesson número uno. And if you are a guy with two first names well, you better say your prayers morning and night!

And he had this look on his face when I first met him. The look that said "these little people, they do not know who is among them." And indeed we did not.

He proceeded to act as though he owned the place, and talked as though he had been to the moon, when really, he'd been remodeling a retail store. And he liked to boss me around. Possibly all in good fun. Until it wasn't!   Dun dun DUUUNNNN!!

He somehow found out that I owned a Saturn. Immediately he proceeded to point his finger at me in a really hard way, kinda like what your mom does when you are little and doing something naughty but you are somewhere public where she really doesn't want to make a scene. And he says, about 6 times, "SELL THAT CAR." After about the 7th time, I think, "now what exactly is it this guy wants me to do?? Sell my car?? Is that the point he is trying to make? It's so hard to know when he only repeats it seven times!"

And he started tell me about this lady friend he had who owned a Saturn. At which point I stopped him and asked, "wait wait wait, is she still alive???" He told me she was. Man, you can't BELIEVE the RELIEF that washed over me knowing she hadn't died in a fiery explosion in her Saturn! 

He said this female friend owned this Saturn, and he asked her if it was having any problems. She said it wasn't, but he immediately told her to.....can you guess?? Sell that car. And she didn't. And a month later apparently it blew up and she was out a few thou. At this point I'm thinking, "wow, it's really great that the car of this friend of yours broke down hard core and she was out thousand of dollars so you could be proven right!! Also, I'm sure all the saturns in the world go out with a bang, if you will." Needless to say every sassy comment I could possibly think of started coming out of my mouth and I had to stop it because the saintly missionaries were sitting right next to me and I didn't want them to see me in my sinner mode.

So, Ryan Mason. Mason, Ryan. It's been about 3 months and I didn't SELL THAT CAR. But I'm gonna sell the identity of Ryan Mason to as many takers in need of a good, strong first and first name as I can find. Kidding, I don't have the skills to sell identities. But Ryan Mason is forever immortalized on my blog and the internet!! Bam!!

Peace and Blessings! (except not to Ryan Mason. Ryan Mason. Ryan Mason)