The Female Menace

This post is not about some awesome prank I pulled or recreating a scene from the movie Dennis the Menace or anything like that.

It is about something that will be familiar to many Latter Day Saints out there though, especially the guys.

Brigham Young has been "quoted" (haha, the word "quoted" in "quotation" marks) saying that any single young man age 25 and over is a menace to society. Well I did a very pathetic internet search on that quote and all I found is that it isn't actually easy to find, as in, it might be made up. Feel free to impart any wisdom you have on the subject, I clearly have little knowledge there.

But uh, I turned 25 this year. And no husbands are in my life, at least not to my knowledge. And I kind of jokingly complained to my mom, "I'm a men-ah-ha-haaaaaace!!" And of course she said that I wasn't because she is a good mom and she loves me. She really is pretty much the best mother, guys. Anyone who knows her would fully accept that statement as true.

Anywhoooo, back to the whole menace thing. I've heard quite a few comments about my personal situation, that situation being NOT being married with kids at 25. A lot of these comments are really positive and encouraging, some are meant to be positive and encouraging, and a few are a little less then encouraging. But I would really love if you guys would let me shed some light on how I feel about all this marriage stuff. It's a little personal, but nothing that I mind people knowing.

I haven't yet discovered who it is I should marry. Pretty simple statement, yeah? Because it is that simple. I have dated A LOT. I'd like to say more than my fair share, at least in my humble opinion.
And I have yet to get a positive confirmation telling me that the person I am dating is the person I should marry. In fact, it's been quite the opposite. I have gotten feelings of sadness, discouragement and hopelessness. Do you think any of those guys I dated would want to marry a girl who looked at their future as a couple with dread?? Probably not. So not only would it have been wrong for me to marry any of them for my sake, but also for theirs.

I receive reminders often, sometimes even weekly of how important the decision of marriage is. I mean, it is SUUUUUUUUPER important. Any other decision in life, where to go to school, what to study, where to live, what jobs to take, whether I should wear a raincoat or use an umbrella, none of those even come close in importance to the marriage decision. And I know that it is very much a decision based on faith, but that's just it. I not only have faith that Heavenly Father will help me know when the right guy comes along, but I also have faith that He will let me know when someone is not the right guy, as He has done for me many times. It has almost never been easy. And I have been hard-hearted and stubborn and made some silly mistakes. And sometimes, when I see my friends, who I love and am so happy for, have these beautiful little babies and start their families, I get an ache inside my heart. But I am learning, one hour at a time that it is not up to me when or where or how and who, but that someone has a much greater plan for me than I would have had for myself. And I am so happy much of the time. I am happy because I know I am blessed in ways too numerous to list. I am happy because I have been guided and protected so much more than I could even explain. And however long this whole getting married thing takes, I know that I will be able to look back and see why at least in part, and see what blessings will have come from all this. And I will be that much more grateful for the man I will marry.

I used to feel somewhat of a clock-ticking, panicky type feeling, like this marriage thing needed to happen ASAP. But I really don't have that feeling anymore. No, instead I feel calm. I feel like I am finally patiently waiting on God's timing for me. It's taken years to feel like this. And the past few months have been the biggest personal struggle yet. But I can say that I am so happy that life is going the way it is. I can say that I know my Heavenly Father loves me and helps me through life every day. I can say that I have been given strength from unseen sources when I needed it most.

And most of all, I can say that not being married at 25 is by FAR, most definitely and absolutely NOT the worst trial in the world. In fact, it's so not nearly as bad as a young, 18 year-old, newly- graduated-from-high-school girl might think. I know, because I was that girl at one point :) And I sure do hope that up in heaven I don't come across Brigham Young and have him be like, "Actually, I did say that and I meant to include the ladies in there as well." That would be just a real buzz kill.

And I don't do this very often, but here is a verse that holds great weight with me.

Ether 12:6 And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that ^afaith is things which are ^bhoped for and ^cnot seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no ^dwitness until after the ^etrial of your faith.

Peace and blessings :)