24

In honor of my aged-ness, I decided to type the top 24 life lessons I've learned.

24. NEVER  assume there is toilet paper in ANY bathroom.

23. DO NOT believe your brother when he tells you to do some crazy stunt and promises you won't get hurt.

22. Always look both ways before emerging from a grocery isle at Walmart.

21. If you live in the desert, expect to trip over snakes.

20. Even if your number one activity is playing piano, you can still get injured. A LOT. Just check out my bruised shins and knees.

19. It's too popular to be your own person, now you have to be your OWN own person.

18. Laughing and crying sometimes feel like the same thing.

17. Never offer to give rides to large groups of people when you own a tiny car.

16. Don't tell your best friends about any physical deformities or weaknesses or intolerance's you may have.

15. Buy that piece of furniture in Junkees before you see it riding away in the back of someone else's truck on the highway.

14. Being a janitor actually ISN'T the worst job on the planet. But it's preeeeeettttttttyyyy darn close.

13. Never say what your favorite restaurant is. People will expect to eat there with you until you die, and it will no longer be your favorite restaurant, and you will probably die while eating there.

12. If you happen to share a room with younger siblings, make sure your beds aren't too close together. You WILL wake up suddenly by them whacking your face "in their sleep, they swear."

13. NEVER, I repeat, NEVER,  use the bathroom after someone else who has just made it, um, smelly. Someone will inevitably be there waiting for you after you use it and they will think you did the stinky.

12. Being an adult is not as fun as you thought it would be when you were a kid who couldn't do grown up things.

11. No matter how old you get, loony toons will always be hilarious. Especially Wile E. Coyote.

10. In a lot of ways, children are braver than adults.

9. Liking a band that someone else already likes is so uncool, almost like wearing the same outfit as them to a party.

8. For some reason, whenever people list off reasons for why being a short person is handy, they always include the ability to hide in more places. Like we as adults play hide n' seek all the time or something. You short people can probably attest to this.

7. No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to keep up on the latest technology. First of all, the cool stuff is in Japan. Second, you will go broke. Unless you are already rich, in which case you might be able to keep up and that's cool for you I guess. But vintage is cool now anyway, so keep your little 4th generation ipod nano and use that sucker up!!

6. Sometimes the things that cause the most anger are not the things you should be mad at. Such as the chair you stub your toe on over and over and over again.

5. There is ACTING cool, and then there's BEING cool.

4. No matter how hard you try not to, you will always fit into at least 5 stereotypes. It's a messed up world.

3. The internet is a lonely place.

2. Your car will drive you from point A to point B no matter what it looks like. You OWN your car, don't let it own you :)

1. Never get involved in a land war in Asia.