Ruby's Birth Story

Ruby Jolene’s Birth Story

Let me begin by saying that Rocky’s birth was a tougher experience than I expected, even though I had an epidural. To sum up his birth story quickly, It started with my water breaking about 1:30 in the morning, followed by beginning pressure waves. We went to the hospital about 2:30 in the morning. I immediately was put on pitocin. I also received the epidural pretty early on, I think around 4 in the morning. I was able to nap for about 3 hours due to the epidural, which was nice. But Rocky’s heart rate was fluctuating and i had to be on oxygen off and on. Finally, around 12 in the afternoon, I was ready to push Rocky out. He was in distress and it took almost two hours of me pushing with all my might to get him out, and the doctor had to use the suction tool to help. Rocky came out blue and not breathing, and had swallowed meconium. A team of doctors surrounded him while I got stitched up from a second degree tear. I also felt a lot of the last little bit of pushing and felt the tearing. My blood pressure had been very high ever since arriving at the hospital. When he was finally breathing a bit, they put him on me for about 15 seconds, then whisked him away to the NICU to monitor him for a while. When they took him, i burst into tears and was left alone for an hour (CJ had gone to the NICU with him) not knowing where he was or how he was doing and it was torture. Basically, his birth was not the wonderful thing I had hoped it would be.I had a feeling that all the “drugs” I was on during the birth might have had an effect on that. I also want to note that he got all his “NEWBORN SHOTS” and his blood sugar was lower than they liked it to be, which I have since read can be a side effect of the hep b shot. 

On to Ruby’s story!

I had an unshakeable feeling that if I handled Ruby’s birth differently, everything would be okay for her. Less drugs, more natural. That’s how Heavenly Father designed us. Women are MEANT to give birth. It is probably the most amazing gift that we as women possess. But birth has been portrayed in our society as something scary and painful and dangerous. While it is an undertaking and no small feet, we were made to do it. This is something I had to train myself to accept. I also had to trust in my faith that because we women were designed to give birth, Heavenly Father would make it possible for me to do it without so much medical intervention. 

I decided to use Hypnobabies to prepare myself and give myself the mental tools I felt I needed to handle birth without the medication. Hypnobabies is an all-encompassing birth education course. It not only teaches the tools for self-hypnosis, but it covers everything you would need to know from a medical procedure standpoint, as well as after the baby is born and beyond. I had decided to go with as little medication as possible FOR MY BABY’S SAKE, not for my own. If it were just myself involved in the birth, I would 100% still get the pain medication. I have read many hypnobabies birth stories and I felt encouraged that this would be my best choice to have a non-traumatic, unmedicated birth.

The full course is 6 weeks long, with the remaining weeks before birth used for practice and maintenance. I started the course at about 27 weeks. I also want to add that I decided to employ a doula to help me realize my birth goals and help my husband with tricks and tips to help me through my birthing process. As it turned out, our cousin’s fiance Morgan had just started her own doula business, so I was excited to ask her to be my doula! She was kind enough to read some of my hypnobabies material so she would know what to expect and help with hypno-wise.

I began my birth education and hypnosis process. I listened to 2 hypnosis tracks almost every day, did some reading from a manual, listened to pregnancy affirmations, and met with Morgan a couple times before Ruby’s birth to go over techniques and plans. It wasn’t too tricky to do all of this, I would mainly do my listening at night before bed. It WAS difficult for me to stay awake during the relaxing hypnosis tracks, but that was part of the process. 

My goal was to have as natural a birth as possible, with little to no intervention. Ruby was measuring small though and doctors were worried about her nutrition levels. I went in twice a week for Non Stress Tests, and had an extra ultrasound, and everything was looking good, accepting her small size. The doctors wanted me to get induced at 39 weeks and I REALLY didn’t want that, as there was an increased chance that I would not get the unmedicated birth I wanted for Ruby. As the induction date grew closer, I talked to a midwife at the practice I go to and she decided we could push my induction date to the day after my guess date.

Saturday night before my guess date, which was the following Wednesday, I started having pressure waves. They never got very close together, I had about 2 per hour all night. I listened to the hypnosis tracks designed to help cope with this part of the birthing process. When Sunday rolled around, I was exhausted from having these regular waves, but they died out during the day and I only had a few. This happened every night until Tuesday night, and Tuesday night I had some pretty powerful waves. During the day on Tuesday, my mother-in-law encouraged me to take a walk and we walked around the block and during that time, I lost my mucus plug. I decided to leave my little boy Rocky with my in-laws that night in case my birthing time was actually beginning. My waves still weren’t close together tuesday night, but they were pretty strong, and I moaned through a lot of them. Wednesday morning, the waves were inconsistent, but happening more often. When I would stand or walk around, they happened a lot. When I sat down, they slowed down. It was hard to know if CJ and I should head to the hospital or not. I kept my doula informed and on standby. I want to mention I had been regularly visiting the chiropractor for a few weeks to make sure my hips were well aligned, and had seen him Tuesday afternoon. 

Back to Wednesday morning, my husband and I decided we might as well go to the hospital and get checked out. We arrived at the hospital about 9:30 and were admitted because I was about 3 cm dilated and was going to get induced the next morning anyway. We were put into a delivery room pretty quickly, where I was hooked up to an IV and the baby heart monitor. Because of Ruby’s size, they didn’t want me to be off the heart monitor too much. This was somewhat disappointing news because I had wanted the ability to move around as much as possible if needed. But my pressure waves had really slowed down again, I wasn’t feeling like birth was going to happen any time soon. At one point, there was a doctor, nurse, midwife, and medical student in my room at the same time and that felt a little overwhelming, and the doctor was making a big deal out of the fact that I hadn’t already been induced. After they all left, the midwife came back and talked to me much more calmly and gave me some reassurance that things were okay and Ruby was fine. Then I was started on the lowest dose of pitocin at about 11. I stayed on that dose for about an hour and a half. During this time, pressure waves increased and picked up in intensity. I was still very comfortable through most of this though, I did NOT think Ruby would arrive soon. I had been in the hospital bed the whole time and hadn’t felt the need for anything to help me cope yet. Then, they upped the dose of pitocin by one level and very quickly, the intensity got real. I started moaning quite a bit through my waves, and I got out of bed and onto a birth ball. I used the bathroom a couple times and had to pause on the way to the bathroom, in the bathroom, and on the way back to the hospital bed while coping with waves. I had my hypnosis tracks playing in earbuds this whole time and the reminders I was hearing were helping me get through things. My doula and husband helped with the intensity by rubbing my back in firm, downward motions. As the waves got more intense, my husband applied counter pressure on my hips, which helped immensely. 

Around 2:30, my water had not broken yet. I remember the nurse asking me if I felt like I was getting close. Although the intensity had increased, I still didn’t feel like we were close and I remember telling her, “things would have to get a lot more intense, right?”  But as I got up from the birth ball, a powerful wave came on and all the sudden, I felt something large down there! I couldn’t believe it, was that her head? The nurse had just asked if I was feeling any pushiness, and I told her not yet, and already, my body was wanting to push! My water had also broken as I stood up, so I got onto the bed on hands and knees and started pushing because my body just wanted to. It was INTENSE, but I honestly wouldn’t describe it as painful. Definitely a powerful feeling of pressure and just PUSHING. The midwife had come in at that point and she checked to make sure I was fully dilated, and sure enough, I was. I pushed on hands and knees for a bit, and yelled quite a bit during this part. I’m not too sure of everything that was happening at this point, but one thing I do remember was the nurse kept trying to find Ruby’s heartbeat with the monitor and that was pretty annoying. After pushing on hands a knees for a little bit, she wasn’t quite coming out, so the midwife suggested I try on my back. I still felt like I had a lot of energy at this point, I hadn’t reached exhaustion yet. I flipped around to my back, but I was more upright than I had been with Rocky. The only difficulty about this position was that I didn’t feel like I could bear down as much as I could on hands and knees. The amazing thing this whole time is that in between pressure waves, I felt so relaxed, I could actually rest. But I didn’t want to have as much tearing I had with Rocky’s birth, so I tried a little pushing in between waves. Once on my back, I said I felt like I was falling and not able to push against anything, so they suggest grabbing my legs above the knee. I did this with just my right leg, and my left stayed down on the bed. For some reason, this felt most comfortable. I remember my husband, doula, and the midwife all encouraging me as I pushed. The atmosphere in the room was very positive, and I was grateful for that. 

After about 20 minutes of pushing, I remember saying a prayer asking for strength, and then I started to feel a burning sensation as Ruby was crowning. This was the first time I’d say it hurt. But it was not a level of pain I couldn’t handle, and I knew she was close, so I was motivated to push her out fast. I remember one more big push where I gave it my all, and then she slipped out and they immediately put her on my chest as my doula literally ripped my hospital gown off to allow Ruby and I to be skin to skin. It was euphoric. We did it! I was so happy and so ecstatic and delighted and everything wonderful. My little girl was here and with very little intervention, and she pinked up and was so healthy! She was indeed very tiny at only 5’ 3”, but she was so healthy and she started nursing almost instantly. Total push time was about half an hour and she was born at 3:33 in the afternoon. We had only been at the hospital for 6 hours! Another fact I couldn’t believe, because that morning, I felt for sure we would be waiting a long time. It was just wonderful. Her cord stopped pulsating very quickly, so it was clamped soon after she was born, I knew I still needed to push the placenta out, but my baby girl was on my chest and was adorable, I wasn’t worried about anything else. Luckily, my midwife had been gently massaging my perineum, so I only had a minor tear that did not need stitching. After a few smaller waves, I pushed and my midwife gently removed the placenta. That part was absolutely easy! Then my hubby and I were left to love our baby for several minutes and I was just on this incredible birth high that I can’t fully explain!  I am beyond happy with Ruby’s birth experience and would use hypnobabies and go without an epidural again in a heartbeat. I am grateful for the lessons I learned from both births and would definitely want to help others in their birth journey! I hope someday to become a hypnobabies instructor and/or doula.

Top Ten Things I've Learned From Being Married To C.J.

It's our anniversary today, so I decided to share a top ten list, thanks, David Letterman.

10. Bike parts in every room of the house is just normal

9. Graffiti IS cool 

8. There is no slow, medium, or moderately fast on a jet ski. There's just fast

7. AUTHENTIC Mexican food IS the best Mexican food

6. Cars are not just for driving from point A. to point B. They are toys for puddles, dirt, hills, rocks, water,...

5. Two hours IS enough time to squeeze in a lake trip or bike park trip or snowboarding trip 

4. It's okay to miss the previews at the movie theater as long as you get popcorn with LOTS of butter

3. Food can never be TOO spicy 

2. Nothing is stopping anyone from having fun, all you need is something with wheels. Or a board. Or a trampoline. Or water. Or a jump of some sort. 

And finally number 1!

Life shouldn't be lived by watching other people live it, get out there and DO!! 

I love my husband CJ so much. I've had more adventure with him in the past two years than I ever thought I would as an old, married lady. And that's not the only awesome thing about being married to CJ. He's an amazing father to our baby boy, Rocky. He's a strong, spiritual man who knows what is truly important in life. He knows and believes in his Savior, Jesus Christ. He is an example to many people around him, including family members and friends. My family is truly grateful he is the man I married. Love you, CJ Riley!! I can't wait for our many more adventures to come!! <3

I Quit Sugar

 Day 3. I have successfully avoided all sugar and carbs on my sugar detox. Today I had definite withdrawal symptoms. I woke up shaking, and quickly ate a smoothie with JUST fruit in it. No extra yogurt, no sugary fruit juice, JUST fruit. It was actually delicious, like almost dessert-y. Then I got around to boiling eggs and shoving some nuts and veggies in my mouth. I have to eat fast, like no more than 10 min can be dedicated to food. But eating raw fruits, nuts, and veggies is easy and takes no time at all!! 

Let me back up. 

I love sugar. I mean LOVE. I usually eat a dessert of some sort once a day, and usually have a few pieces of candy, and or drink juice and eat ice cream, lots of times just straight out of the container. 

I gave up chocolate after Rocky was born because it seemed to upset his tummy and I didn't want the little guy to be miserable. But I thought about it all. The. Time. And figured out other foods that were equally as sugary that I could enjoy almost as much. Then it kind of started to occur to me that I may have a little bit of an addiction to the sweet stuff. That I may actually be a bit out of control . I started to think about my family's health history, and it's not awesome. I thought a lot about Rocky and how I want him to be healthy and to think that eating healthy is the norm, not the exception. And I want to be healthy for him and C.J. so I can live a full life with them and any other little ones that come to us. I realized I needed to make a permanent change, not just a week-long one. 

I started reading about detoxes. There are all kinds out there, 10-day plans, three-week plans, 8-week plans....I didn't actually pick a particular plan. I just looked at what you are supposed to eat when you detox. Pretty much meat, fruits, veggies, eggs, and nuts. A lot of veggies, a good amount of protein, and fruit when you really need sugar. I'm not telling anyone out there to do what I did because everyone is different, I don't want to advise anyone health-wise because frankly, I barely know what I'm doing. 

That pretty much brings us to where I'm at today. Day three and no sugar or carbs. Carbs metabolize into sugar, so if you're going to kick the addiction in the rear, you have to eliminate them almost completely. Some other symptoms I've had today are muscle soreness and I've felt pretty low energy, everything I've read says that is totally normal and can last a couple days to a couple weeks, so we shall see. I'll give you the good news if all goes well and I come out of this feeling better than ever. A lot of people that have quit sugar say that their mind is clearer, they don't have the afternoon slump every day, they have more energy,... I'm really looking forward to that, especially having my baby boy. I thought about trying really expensive supplements, but really, I just needed a life-style change. I'll keep you posted on how I feel . Peace out for now. 

Day 4. I am writing already because I feel much better today than I did yesterday. I did yoga this morning and went for a run and I have much less muscle soreness. I also was not shaky at all today. I did feel pretty exhausted a couple times, but that's probably because I didn't fall asleep until 12:30 and Rocky woke up two more times after that. I also didn't even "crave" sugar. I thought about it a couple times, but not in the "I NEED SOME RIGHT NOW" way. I've actually craved potato chips more than anything, another addiction I want to kick in the bee-hind. Anywho, I feel like this is going to be a good change in my life. I also feel that I am being given help as I try this. Heavenly Father wants us to have good lives. The more self control we can practice, the happier we are, and the healthier we are. I'm slowly going to incorporate healthy carbs back into my diet in a couple weeks, but for now, I'm playing it safe without most of them.

Day 5. I'm thinking I'll actually put some carbs into my diet next week. Probably some quinoa and maybe sweet potatoes.  I feel really good today, I'm not really having any strange symptoms, I ate a very satisfying breakfast of meat,  veggies and eggs, made by CJ, and I'm going strong. I don't even want sugar right now.  

Last night I had a bit of a cheat night and ate Thai food. I had some hot and sour soup, which probably has a lot of sodium, but also had lots of chicken and veggies. I also had fried rice with beef, eggs and veggies. My first carbs all week. I still didn't eat sugar, and every time I've wanted sugar, I had fruit instead. The meal tasted amazing, but kinda messed with my stomach a bit. Worth it though. And when I know I'm not ALWAYS eating super bad foods, it feels okay to eat what I want some of the time. That's kind of what I'm hoping to gain from all of this.

The start of my second week!

I had carbs Saturday and Sunday night in the form of potatoes, but I don't think that set me back, I've been fine and had a delicious smoothie with only fresh fruit, it was seriously super yummy and now I'm kind of craving those more than a chocolate-y or caramel-y treat. But I'm pretty darn sure I'll never be able to kick sugar completely, and I don't want to! I just want to bring balance to my eating and not need dessert with breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack, and dinner. Maybe a once a week treat is what I'll try. And then I'll really make that treat count! I also want to have healthy carbs in my life for energy. And occasionally bring back my old buddies, Lays potato chips. 

This is an example of a lunch time meal. Veggies fried in a little EVOO, some turkey meat and a fried egg. Sometimes I had smoothies with my meals as well, which are really starting to feel like decadent desserts to me! By the way, I'm learning about shopping for the right stuff too and where to go. I think Costco is the best for nuts, berries, eggs, bell peppers, grapes, and lunch meats. I got a load of veggies there and though we are trying to eat them all, I don't think it will happen. CJ has made me breakfast a few times and he does delicious scrambles. I've had bacon a few times too this week, so I'm not without some unhealthy stuff. But bacon is bacon and if I stop eating it, I might as well die. 

Anywho, lots of words and sorry if it was kind of boring. If you need encouragement to go sugarless, I'll help you out!! I'm hoping to make it a full second week, and maybe this Sunday, allow myself something sugary. But maybe I'll go three weeks, who knows. 

First-time Mom Thoughts

My baby is going to be three months in three days, so I thought I'd share some of the thoughts I've had during this new experience.

Mom thoughts 

Every piece of cloth can double as a burp rag if you only put your mind to it.

As long as I'm nursing, I'll never forget his food.

There's mountain time, pacific time, a few others; and baby time.

I never knew I could shower so fast.

To do list....learn to tie shoe with one hand... And do hair, put on makeup, clean, make bed, cook dinner,....

The world is infested with germs and disease, it's the freaking walking dead out there!

You have never known fear until your baby hasn't pooped for 2 days. You know that's going to be a blow out of epic proportions.

I have a testimony that I know swaddling is true.

What's with his Edward Scissorhands fingernails?? Those babies could kill someone!

He is sleeping in longer intervals. But I can't sleep because I'm worried about why he's still asleep.

Like all moms do, sometimes I think my baby is a genius. Until he has grabbed a fistful of my hair in both hands and is flailing his arms all over. Then I think he's an evil genius. 

Baby PJs should never have snaps, only zippers. Who can figure those things out when it's 2 am, you're up for the third time in one night, trying to change a diaper with your eyes half open and your brain still partly in dreamland?

Who knew I'd start having dreams  about poopy diapers.

I don't understand how he can be sleeping peacefully on my lap, either leaning against my chest, or against my legs, facing me, and then sharply dive sideways, head first. Does he have a death wish or something? 

I'm worried, he's serious all day with mommy, then as soon as daddy gets home, it's all smiles. He's messing with my head.

If I smell like pee or throw up, don't worry. It is pee or throw up.

Hurry lets go I just fed the baby he's happy if we are gonna go we have to go NOW, GO GO GO GO!!!

Nobody questions the diaper bag full of stuff. Before the baby, it would have looked slightly strange, carrying around such a big, full bag. But now, I can carry my bag, full of stuff and nobody questions it. 

All I can say about my post pregnant body is thank goodness for stretchy pants of any kind. Yoga. Leggings, elastic waistbands, all my best friends.

Somewhere out there is a new mom who's house is perfectly clean, who is cooking healthy meals for her hubby, who already fits back into her skinny jeans, and who Has d-I-y'd her entire living room decor. But, to quote a popular classic rock artist, it ain't me.

I just need you to think your fist is a food source for like ten more minutes while I finish *insert task*

Am I awake right now? 

I can't remember when I last changed his diaper.

His smile is THE MOST AMAZING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!

Actually a Christmas Baby

Well, I was being a bit sarcastic in the title of my last blog post, but I guess I better eat my words because little Rocky actually is a Christmas baby :)

Wednesday was my due date. Christmas was 2 days later. When Wednesday came and went, I was resigned to being pregnant for the rest of my life. He was going to grow and thrive and attend college, all while in my womb. And Thursday was Christmas Eve, filled with family festivities, but still no sign of little Rocky. I guess that's good because I had time to clean and nap, but mostly clean, and not nap. During these couple days, I had one thing to keep me sane. Little Cavin, our nephew who has literally been there for every major event in CJ's and my relationship, said on Wednesday, "Rocky will be born in 2 days!" I said, "2 days? That's Christmas!" He said, "yep, that's when he will be born!" So I relied on Cavin's prediction to help me not go too crazy, because hey, the little guy proposed to me for CJ, he is pretty reliable! Christmas Eve, he said, "Rocky is coming tomorrow!!" It was getting spooky how adamant he was about Rocky's arrival date.

At home Christmas Eve night, after all the festivities, CJ and I decided to open gifts to each other because we weren't sure if the next day we would have time. Not because we felt like Rocky might show up, but because we had lots of Christmas plans that day, and as mentioned above, Rocky was going to be in the womb forever.

We went to bed around midnight. At about 1:30, I woke up to a strange feeling that lasted a few seconds. It didn't hurt necessarily, but I remember having the thought, "well that was new." And I got up to use the bathroom. While on my way there, my water broke. Again, in my mind, the thought, "huh, that was new." And the question, "was that my water breaking, or did I just lose all control of myself?" 

After waiting just a few minutes, I was sure I was experiencing something close to what you see on TV as labor. CJ was up and ready in a flash, we were out the door in maybe ten minutes. We never even rehearsed it, beat that, Internet mom bloggers! After an icy but safe drive to the hospital, we were AT the hospital.

The rest is history and Rocky WILL be attending college outside of the womb.  

Jk jk, I'll add a few more details :) 

We got checked in and after the nurse determined my water had really broken, I was admitted and we got to stay. None of that, "you may have a while so why don't you go home" poop that I hear happens so much. My contractions were about 5 min apart. After feeling several of those lovely things, I was ready for an epidural. Once that was in, I was on cloud 9. No pain, no gain is false, people. What would I really gain from continuing to feel contraction pain other than the desire that Rocky be an only child, I ask you? 

I continued "laboring" until around 11 the next morning, when it felt like the magical epidural wasn't being so magical anymore. Apparently the monitor thingy was picking up on things because the nurse came and checked me right as I called her and I was dilated to a ten. If you are like my brother, Gabe, you have no idea what that means. I'll save you the trouble (and horror) of looking that up. It just means you're ready to push that baby outta there. 

Push, I did, for almost two hours. During that time, my thoughts were, "I'm so out of shape. I regret all those non-workout naps" 

On a more serious note, Rocky wasn't coming out. And I was pushing so hard I felt like my head was going to explode. All that time I could hear his little heartbeat on the monitor. It was fluctuating so much, sometimes it was dangerously slow, other times dangerously fast. And I prayed. I prayed, "please Father, help me get my baby out and keep him safe. Give him strength. Give me strength." 

By the end of those couple hours, the doc determined I needed help getting him out, and so he plundered him out. Ever seen a toilet plunger? Yeah, it did kind of look like those. And finally little Rocky was out. But he was lifeless, very limp. And a team of doctors had come in to revive him. CJ kept watch as the doctors worked fast to clear his tiny lungs and I was being stitched up. I could fully feel things at this point, but I didn't care, my baby was a few feet away from me fighting for life. Again, more prayers, keep him safe, give him strength. 

After what felt like way too long, Rocky was responding and a nurse brought him to me for just a few brief moments before they had to take him to the nicu. He was so tiny, his little limbs were thin and delicate, but also VERY strong. I looked at him and tried to let it wash over me that this was our little boy we had waited for. And then they took him away. He was gone for an hour before I knew if he was okay. Finally a nurse came and I asked her how he was doing. He was okay! He was doing well and they were going to bring him to me soon! Best news I've ever received in my entire life. After that, my little rockstar continued to get stronger and stronger.

Finally he was brought back to me and we got to bond. Which was basically his little mouth baby-birding it and me trying to feed him for the first time. But oh my goodness, how I loved this tiny little being. He wasn't very big, and his little shoulder blades were clearly visible as he had zero fat to cover them. He was so beautiful, his face had these tiny little features, I couldn't believe he was ours. I still can't sometimes to this day. He's been flourishing and is already about 12 lbs, almost twice his birth weight. He is learning so much already and responding to things in the cutest ways. I love when he gets so excited his little legs just kick kick kick KICK!! He already has a lil double chin and some chunky cheeks too, and he smiles and coos, it's the cutest thing I've ever seen/heard. Needless to say C.J. and I are deeply in love.

 

Babies are amazing and when a four, almost five-year-old speaks, listen up!!

Our little 6 lb 7 oz, 21 inch baby boy :)

Ooo, a Christmas Baby!

Hello, Internet! It's been a long time since I've felt the need to write something on here, but what do ya know, we are having a baby this month, I'd say that's a pretty momentous reason to write! 

We found out we were expecting back in April of this year. We were eager to have a baby, and it was one of those, "why don't we just run to the store reallly quick and get a test" type of things. Not pre-planned with balloons or cake or anything. So we grabbed a two-pack cuz movies tell you those things don't always work, right? I was too excited to wait the FULL minute, and looked at it after about ten seconds. One line showed up, so of course I was instantly depressed. But C.J., being wise and more patient-ish, said "go look again, you hardly waited at all." So I did, and a second, much more faint line was showing!! Where was the box? I had to check the box to make sure a faint line counted!! Also, I had to take the other test to be positive! After getting positives on both, knowing that the faint line DOES count, we just kind of sat there. I know, really exciting of us. We had just found out the news we were dying to know, and all we did was sit in silence. I think I might have gotten up to get ready for bed at one point, who knows. Then things started to sink in a little better, we hugged and kissed and said how excited we were, I think. 

We originally intended to wait until Mother's Day, which was just 1-2 weeks away to tell the news. But I got all impatient after 3 days and we sort of sloppily broke the news, sorry family, it would have been so much better if I had stuck to the plan. But good news breakers or not, this baby was on his way!!

Pregnancy, now there's something you've seen about a zillion times, yet somehow manage to KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. I remember my mom pregnant with my little sis. She was sick, very sick, for about 4 months. Then, in my 11-year-old brain, she got better and things were peachy all the way to August 10th. Sorry, Mom, I was so blind. Not that my pregnancy has been the worst, or really bad or anything, I've been really blessed with a healthy pregnancy, healthy baby, and just what I'm pretty sure are standard pregnancy symptoms. I only can think of like 2 crazy mood swing moments (C.J. Might be able to think of more) but all in all, I feel pretty darn lucky. There are dozens of tiny things you just don't KNOW, you know? Like the heartburn/reflux thing, I had no idea that would be the cause of vomiting more than nausea would. Or the sack of potatoes taped to your ribs feeling. Or your feet going slightly numb, or your brain just NOT WORKING. Then the baby moving around in there, I've seen it on other women. Maybe I'm more daft than the rest of the population, I didn't think about what that would feel like, or even that you can feel it at all. Well this little guy has sure taught me a lot about that feeling. Yesterday it felt like he was using my ribs as a sling shot. 

Around September came a feeling of time-is-running-out-we-have-so-much-to-do-we-are-never-going-to-be-prepared!!! I guess they call it nesting, for me, I think it's just my normal obsessive-ness. But I think I can safely say at this moment in time, we are about as ready as we will ever be. Which is, physically, we have all the baby stuff we need, mentally, we have no idea what the heck we are in for. 

Now my brain is turning to the actual birth. The thought of this baby's body coming out of my body. Respect to mothers everywhere. No matter how they come out, it's an ordeal to say the least. Billions of women have done this, so why does it suddenly feel like I'm the only one ever to have to get this baby out one of two ways? And why didn't I dedicate my entire existence to finding a faster, easier, pain-free way?? I've wasted my time doing things like piano and reading and crocheting. What little forethought I've had. Do you think three weeks is enough time? Mostly joking. Most of the time, I'm ready for this little guy to come out and don't care about the scary unknown. But almost every night, I lie awake exactly like this O,O Then I try to distract my brain with other thoughts, Facebook, scriptures, and that usually helps. And just breathe. Because in less time than I can even believe, C.J. and I will be snuggling our first little baby boy. And I can't even imagine what that will feel like. Another thing that makes me feel like no one in the world has ever experienced it because it will be a completely new, unique experience for us. 

I can't wait to meet our baby boy <3

Guess We Fell In Love!

I am living, walking, breathing proof that A. LOT. can happen in just a few short months. If you're Mormon, you tend to measure life occurrences, time, those sorts of things by General Conference. A common phrase might be, "By the next General Conference, I will be..." fill in the blank. Or "So and so will be back from their mission in just two more Conferences!"

Well if I do that, measure time by General Conference, then between the last General Conference and the one that's coming in less than two weeks, I got married.

Rewind!! Back in May of this year, I reconnected with someone I had met three years ago. His name is C.J. Riley. And now we are married. And have been for an entire month already!

I don't want to tell the whole story because I actually love telling it in person. Self-absorbed, but I do love to tell it!

All I want to say is we are best friends. He makes me so incredibly happy. Marriage is just having your best friend there always. We are so excited and happy about starting our family together, just typing this makes me all giddy inside! If I had to describe our relationship in three words, I would say "Happy, Safe, Warm."

And pictures are worth a thousand words, so without needing to get wordy, here are some pics that totally describe us...

He was totally, completely, DEFINITELY worth the wait :)

Yeah.... Okay......

Been on a blog hiatus again. First off, I realized that for the most part, things that get blogged about just aren't like all that important? You know? Like for the betterment of mankind or anything? Second, I kinda haven't had the brain for writing stuff down: it has to be a mood almost, you know what I mean?? But of course life has been happening, as it does!!

 One momentous occasion.... Best Friend and I got to take our dream NYC vacay. I'm not a traveler per se, and I don't often just up and do stuff. But this was an opportunity I just had to grab hold of. My friend Jessica lived in NYC all winter, and she ever so graciously invited us to stay with her for free. The only way this dream could come true was if that beautiful word "free" was somehow thrown in the mix. So for six days, Kimmy and I stormed the island of Manhattan and just played our guts out!!! At one point, we had been exploring for like 3 days and finally our feet just hurt!! So after moping along through the Museum of Natural history, we mozied on over to CP and just sat for a long time. But it was still awesome, right, cuz we were... Like in Central Park, ya know?? We learned so much while we were there too.... Like how to hail a cab, what the heck "top of the rock" even meant, and man, there are some characters in this world, I think they all live there. I could go on and on and on and on and on........ But I will stop. But dreams came true on this trip, it was just THE BEST. 

Life lately.... Well Kimmy moved, I'm working on forgiving her still.... Just kidding. But seriously. But she's doing big things in Utah!! Our cruise lounge singer plan is just taking it's time. 

I went back to school, but for various reasons, decided to get another job and work more, so I'm not going back this fall. I need a new car, T-mu is getting ready to give up the ghost. But my MAIN reason for not going back to school is that it was just really getting in the way of shopping! How's a girl supposed to be smart AND look cute? I had to make a choice. I did the right thing. So goodbye for now UNR. Goodbye dreadlocks guy, I never learned your name, but you were cool. goodbye music building where everyone was just....SO NICE!! Seriously, they were all super nice and welcoming to me, I really appreciated it. 

But in a few days I'm going through the temple. And THAT is making me very happy. It feels like walking toward light.

Anyway, hope you are all great, you're all the best, okay?!

The Female Menace

This post is not about some awesome prank I pulled or recreating a scene from the movie Dennis the Menace or anything like that.

It is about something that will be familiar to many Latter Day Saints out there though, especially the guys.

Brigham Young has been "quoted" (haha, the word "quoted" in "quotation" marks) saying that any single young man age 25 and over is a menace to society. Well I did a very pathetic internet search on that quote and all I found is that it isn't actually easy to find, as in, it might be made up. Feel free to impart any wisdom you have on the subject, I clearly have little knowledge there.

But uh, I turned 25 this year. And no husbands are in my life, at least not to my knowledge. And I kind of jokingly complained to my mom, "I'm a men-ah-ha-haaaaaace!!" And of course she said that I wasn't because she is a good mom and she loves me. She really is pretty much the best mother, guys. Anyone who knows her would fully accept that statement as true.

Anywhoooo, back to the whole menace thing. I've heard quite a few comments about my personal situation, that situation being NOT being married with kids at 25. A lot of these comments are really positive and encouraging, some are meant to be positive and encouraging, and a few are a little less then encouraging. But I would really love if you guys would let me shed some light on how I feel about all this marriage stuff. It's a little personal, but nothing that I mind people knowing.

I haven't yet discovered who it is I should marry. Pretty simple statement, yeah? Because it is that simple. I have dated A LOT. I'd like to say more than my fair share, at least in my humble opinion.
And I have yet to get a positive confirmation telling me that the person I am dating is the person I should marry. In fact, it's been quite the opposite. I have gotten feelings of sadness, discouragement and hopelessness. Do you think any of those guys I dated would want to marry a girl who looked at their future as a couple with dread?? Probably not. So not only would it have been wrong for me to marry any of them for my sake, but also for theirs.

I receive reminders often, sometimes even weekly of how important the decision of marriage is. I mean, it is SUUUUUUUUPER important. Any other decision in life, where to go to school, what to study, where to live, what jobs to take, whether I should wear a raincoat or use an umbrella, none of those even come close in importance to the marriage decision. And I know that it is very much a decision based on faith, but that's just it. I not only have faith that Heavenly Father will help me know when the right guy comes along, but I also have faith that He will let me know when someone is not the right guy, as He has done for me many times. It has almost never been easy. And I have been hard-hearted and stubborn and made some silly mistakes. And sometimes, when I see my friends, who I love and am so happy for, have these beautiful little babies and start their families, I get an ache inside my heart. But I am learning, one hour at a time that it is not up to me when or where or how and who, but that someone has a much greater plan for me than I would have had for myself. And I am so happy much of the time. I am happy because I know I am blessed in ways too numerous to list. I am happy because I have been guided and protected so much more than I could even explain. And however long this whole getting married thing takes, I know that I will be able to look back and see why at least in part, and see what blessings will have come from all this. And I will be that much more grateful for the man I will marry.

I used to feel somewhat of a clock-ticking, panicky type feeling, like this marriage thing needed to happen ASAP. But I really don't have that feeling anymore. No, instead I feel calm. I feel like I am finally patiently waiting on God's timing for me. It's taken years to feel like this. And the past few months have been the biggest personal struggle yet. But I can say that I am so happy that life is going the way it is. I can say that I know my Heavenly Father loves me and helps me through life every day. I can say that I have been given strength from unseen sources when I needed it most.

And most of all, I can say that not being married at 25 is by FAR, most definitely and absolutely NOT the worst trial in the world. In fact, it's so not nearly as bad as a young, 18 year-old, newly- graduated-from-high-school girl might think. I know, because I was that girl at one point :) And I sure do hope that up in heaven I don't come across Brigham Young and have him be like, "Actually, I did say that and I meant to include the ladies in there as well." That would be just a real buzz kill.

And I don't do this very often, but here is a verse that holds great weight with me.

Ether 12:6 And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that ^afaith is things which are ^bhoped for and ^cnot seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no ^dwitness until after the ^etrial of your faith.

Peace and blessings :)

Two First Names

Okay, enough time has past that I think I can safely write about this experience.

I met a man who is the anti-Saturn. 

As some of you know, I drive a little Saturn. That's it, just a Saturn. It has a model number, but I forget what it is. 

Now for those car guys out there who might read the word Saturn and cringe at the very sound, peace be unto you. Don't get your boxer briefs in a twist. Yes I own a Saturn. Yes they are no longer manufactured. No, I don't know all the ins and outs as to why that is. But common sense tells me that saturns probably aren't all that great. But I own one for many reasons. If I was able to own any other car that was a step up from my little t-mu, I would. Can we move on?

But as I mentioned earlier, I met the very anti-Saturn himself. If you think you hate saturns, you would be a breath of refreshing, rose-scented summer air next to this guy. 

His name?? Ryan Mason. I don't mind putting his name on here because as he himself informed me, he cannot be traced online. Okay, he must be cooler and more secretive than the CIA itself. Well now you're online, Ryan Mason, take that!!!

We met at church. I, a lowly Reno native and he, a born and bred Utahn. He visited my singles ward just that one week. But that was enough to forever sour me on the idea of one, Ryan Mason. (Notice how I keep using his untraceable name) ps, he has two first names. NEVER trust a guy with two first names. That's like life lesson número uno. And if you are a guy with two first names well, you better say your prayers morning and night!

And he had this look on his face when I first met him. The look that said "these little people, they do not know who is among them." And indeed we did not.

He proceeded to act as though he owned the place, and talked as though he had been to the moon, when really, he'd been remodeling a retail store. And he liked to boss me around. Possibly all in good fun. Until it wasn't!   Dun dun DUUUNNNN!!

He somehow found out that I owned a Saturn. Immediately he proceeded to point his finger at me in a really hard way, kinda like what your mom does when you are little and doing something naughty but you are somewhere public where she really doesn't want to make a scene. And he says, about 6 times, "SELL THAT CAR." After about the 7th time, I think, "now what exactly is it this guy wants me to do?? Sell my car?? Is that the point he is trying to make? It's so hard to know when he only repeats it seven times!"

And he started tell me about this lady friend he had who owned a Saturn. At which point I stopped him and asked, "wait wait wait, is she still alive???" He told me she was. Man, you can't BELIEVE the RELIEF that washed over me knowing she hadn't died in a fiery explosion in her Saturn! 

He said this female friend owned this Saturn, and he asked her if it was having any problems. She said it wasn't, but he immediately told her to.....can you guess?? Sell that car. And she didn't. And a month later apparently it blew up and she was out a few thou. At this point I'm thinking, "wow, it's really great that the car of this friend of yours broke down hard core and she was out thousand of dollars so you could be proven right!! Also, I'm sure all the saturns in the world go out with a bang, if you will." Needless to say every sassy comment I could possibly think of started coming out of my mouth and I had to stop it because the saintly missionaries were sitting right next to me and I didn't want them to see me in my sinner mode.

So, Ryan Mason. Mason, Ryan. It's been about 3 months and I didn't SELL THAT CAR. But I'm gonna sell the identity of Ryan Mason to as many takers in need of a good, strong first and first name as I can find. Kidding, I don't have the skills to sell identities. But Ryan Mason is forever immortalized on my blog and the internet!! Bam!!

Peace and Blessings! (except not to Ryan Mason. Ryan Mason. Ryan Mason)

Annnnnd.....cut!!

It's the last day of 2013. As per usual (love that phrase, even though I'm not sure if I'm using it correctly) there have been a lot of um, life lessons in this year. I've never been a fan of the number 13, I'm oddly superstitious, no idea why. But maybe that 20 in front of the 13 was going to make it okay, I told myself as we entered this fateful year. And many things did happen that I was a big fan of, fo sho!! 

Now, because I don't want to bore you with my lessons learned, I'm going to try my darnedest to keep this simple. The absolute, number one thing I learned this year...... Drum roll...................(the dots are the drum beats) *crash* I learned to be positive!!! Super deep, surprise ending, right? Okay, all joking aside, but honestly, at the end of this year, which had some crazy, unexpected plot twists, I can say coming out that looking at things positively really and truly does make all the difference. Just for an example, I'm going to take you back in time a little, this actually happened not in the year 2013, but a few years ago, when I cleaned toilets for a living. I was a morning janitor for all the Shakespeare buildings at suu, they have a big Shakespeare festival there every year in case you didn't know, it's really famous, a lot of old people go to see plays there, yada yada, anywho, being a janitor is DEFINITELY not the most glamorous dream job in the world, and we had to be at work at 6 am everyday. Anyone who knows me knows i am in no way, shape or form a morning person. Actually I'm barely an anytime person, but for sure not morning. And we were cleaning some pretty gross stuff on many occasions. Opening the bathroom doors every day was like opening a really stinky Pandora's box. It was just bad news bears all the way. But these last couple months I realized that I only have good memories of that job. Even the horrible stuff we had to do has turned into great fireside stories I can tell when I'm running out of other great fireside stories to tell. A couple great things I remember. First, we used these really cool backpack vacuums. We had a few names for them, the one I remember most is back vacs. And we used to joke that they were our ghostbusters guns and we would constantly tell each other "whatever you do, don't cross the streams!!" Or another great thing I remember, the whole cleaning crew had to polish the brass stair rails every day, and that was tedious work. But the whole time we did, we were playing Would You Rather. We had many a philosophical debate over whether we would would rather have forever wolf-man hairy arms that we couldn't shave, or a thick unibrow, also unshaveable.

Moral of the story. You actually CAN put a positive spin on almost anything. And another part of that is just being grateful. If you spend your time thinking about all the things you're stressed about, all the things you need to fix, all the things you're bad at, guarantees you'll be down in the dumps. I've seen the dumps, they aren't pretty. BUT!!!! If you look for even the slightest second at what you have to be grateful for, something will immediately come to mind, I promise. And if it doesn't, well, that's not my area of expertise, sorry. Who am I kidding, I don't really have areas of expertise:) so happy new year, everyone. Go out and live, really live. And put that positive twist on everything you possibly can, and dont give up! Learning this has made me feel good, much like the time I successfully harmonized with the Dollar Loan Center jingle on the radio.

Just one of the great discoveries of 2013.

Love, Savannah, sometimes known as Savvy, Sandbag, Sissy, Sav a nuh, lil Savvy....

The World NEEDS Good Music!!

Elder Sommers, total stud

Gabe, my lil' broski, showed me this sweet page on the LDS website. It has an entire list of free, uplifting music to download and I've been checking it out and the music is REALLY GOOD!!

Music to me will always be one of the best ways to reach out to people and to help brighten our own lives. So if you want something to bring you inspiration in your life, I strongly recommend checking out this page. free uplifting music

A couple of favs of Gabe's are Glorious and Mountains to Climb.

And share it with others!! People need this!!!!

Why I Dream in Jane Austen

Exercise=a stroll among the woods/about the grounds

Ladies don't cook, they hire cooks

Things like sewing, playing the piano forte, painting, drawing...were what made girls "most desirable"

Writing letters=texting

Gentlemen stand when a lady enters the room

Riding carriages and buggies=sports cars and motorcycles

Big, elaborate up-dos were all the rage.

Wearing dresses is an everyday occurrence

"How could he treat me in such an uncaring fashion?"="That jerk face!!"

“I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight and twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased.” 

="I really like you, you are cool."

Be warned, it's a kissing scene....

My goodness, the LANGUAGE!! Girls, if you agree with me on this, don't be afraid to own it!! 

Have you read Pride a Prejudice a million times? Does your heart sing when Collin Firth comes out of the lake dripping wet? Do you clap and squeal when Emma and Mr. Knightly FINALLY get together?? How could I not dream in Jane Austen????

The National Parks

Great places to visit, yeah? Yeah! But also this amazing new band!!!

I can't even try to pretend that I'm great at knowing the best music out there (excluding classical of course, it's totes the bomb :)

But I had a stroke of luck in the past couple weeks. But I don't believe in luck, I believe in straight up blessings! And thanks to my dadio, I had the privilege of meeting Brady Parks. Who is way cool, guys. And he has a band. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that this band is amazing. 

Their sound is beautiful. It's inspiring. Makes you feel things, raw emotions. And they write it all themselves. It's just the three of them, Brady, Sydney, and Paige. Vocals, guitar, keys, Violin, and some light percussion. It's simple, but complex in it's depth. The kind of music that makes you stop and stare at the sky, soaking in the grandeur. Then it makes you stomp, clap and sing along.

Can't rave about them enough. But I can tell you to look them up. Their album "Young" is available on itunes and amazon, as well as hard copies on their website, http://www.whoarethenationalparks.com/ .

It's hard for me to pick a favorite song, depends on how I feel that day :) But I will share a video, and advise you to check them out in depth. You will just be ever so happy you did!!

Isn't that just breathtaking? 

It was a blessing to meet Brady, Sydney, and Paige and get to hear their music. Music truly is a blessing from God. I believe that 100%. 

Trust me, guys! I'm only honest!

Road trips bring out the best

I have a pretty good roadtrip story. It's really brief, but I find it quite hilarious. Please don't be mad at me, Dwight. A couple hours ago, the shrimp nugget, my mom and I were in the beautiful Wendover, NV and it brought back a favorite memory. It comes back to me every time we stop there on the way to SL, UT. So about forever ago, we were driving to drop Dwight off on his mission to Mada. And we are using the facilities. I go into what I'm pretty sure is the girls bathroom. And I bump into Dwight in there. And we immediately stop and stare at each other and our eyes grow big and they say "crap, one of us is in the wrong place!" And we both take off out the door and guess who was right? That's correct, Dwight used the girls room. And every time I think of that story I crack up.

Don't roadtrips just bring out the best in everyone? I'm talking about myself for a minute. I didn't shower this morning, I put my hair up in a bun, stayed in my pjs and slippers, only applied enough makeup so as not to give small children nightmares for years to come. And sometimes you even go so far as to have to use a bush because the facilities are still 15 min away and you can't ruin the rental car. Also you eat things that shouldn't be fed to vultures. Today's meals.... Ensure, cookies, soda, cookies, other stuff I rather not mention.

But one thing I love about roadtrips. You can kind of make buddies with the people that are on the road with you. You know, you stop at all the same places, take turns passing one another, and you just sort of have this unspoken bond. Roadtrip buddies for life. Rbfl. And you can act like you're the coolest for both traveling somewhere foreign, distant, like Provo.

Then there are the million pictures you take of everyone in the car because you're bored out of your mind. I'm pretty sure I have more pictures of car rides TO cool places then I do of actually being at the cool places. Then your mom points out the mile markers and you can't think of anything else but counting the miles in suuuuuuper slow motion and call them out every time you pass one.

More good stuff though. Sometimes your little sister plays with your hair forever until you fall asleep and then wake up with a jolt because your mom accidentally drove over the vibraty things on the side, you know, the things that keep you from falling asleep. They usually help the driver, but sometimes the passengers need to be awake to keep the driver company, so it's cool I guess.

Just one thing I can say to the guys out there. If you are ever traveling with a female companion, please be really patient and understanding. If the trip is longer than two hours, we are going to need to stop at least 3 times, we are sorry about that. Just plan for an extra hour when you figure out your eta and all will be well with you. But you should feel a little sorry for us because we have to use bathrooms that we are pretty sure have been witnesses to horrific crimes. We pay for our small bladders, trust us.

All in all, roadtrips are great for providing  plenty of comic relief, as long as you focus on the funny side of things. And there are plenty of those:)

Peace and blessings y'all!!