I just want to say some things I've been thinking lately. I get asked this question a lot. "Why/how are you not married yet?" When people find out I am 23, graduated from college, single... When I say I get asked that question a lot, I'm saying I have been asked it probably around 10 or so times. Also to add to that, people ask my parents too, putting in probably around 15 times. This question doesn't offend or bother me too much. Sometimes it kinda hurts to think about it if I look at it in a negative light. But mostly, this is what I try to think.
First off, 23 is still soooo young. I don't feel "old" at all. Well okay, that's a lie, sometimes when I see new kids graduating high school and coming into my YSA ward, I start feeling a little aged. But other than that, I don't feel like my hips are going to give out or anything. Oh wait, one already did! ha. But seriously, 23 is young.
The other thing I've been thinking is this. If I had gotten married at any point before this one, I would not have been through the things I have been through. I would not have met the people I've met. I would not have developed the friendships I've developed. I would not have gotten the time I have with my family.
Yes, I want to get married, I want to start my own family, I am not in any way saying that I am glad I am not married right now. But in some ways, I am grateful that it has not happened yet.
I was shy in high school, I mean REALLY shy. I was home-schooled, not out of my parents forcing me to be, but because I chose it because I was so shy. A lot of people say I was shy because I was home-schooled. No, I was home-schooled because I was shy. So that being the case, I didn't make very many friends at that point in my life, which I was okay with because I had my family. My brothers and sister, parents and cousins. But after graduating and starting at the single's ward, it was like a switch was flipped on inside me. I wanted to meet people, I wanted to have fun without inhibitions. I didn't want being shy to hold me back anymore. So I started making friends. And for the past five years since high school, I have developed such amazing friendships that I would not trade in for ANYTHING. If I had gotten married right out of high school, I would not have had those opportunities, I know it. These are friendships that I will treasure my whole life.
I have had the opportunity to get my bachelor's degree. Now, I know that I could probably still have gotten that while being married, but I know it would have been more difficult. I might not have been able to chose where I wanted to go to school, I might have had to take more time doing it...and again, I would not have met the people I met along the way.
Is it hard for me to be 23 and single? Having people ask all the time why I'm not married? Yep! It has it's down times, that's for sure, I'd be lying if I said it didn't. I see my friends getting married and having babies and I just think how much I want that in my life. But I am on God's time frame here, not mine. He is teaching me things and blessing me with things that I need in my life. And when the right one comes along, I'm not going to look back and think, "Why didn't he come sooner?" I am going to look ahead and say that this is the right time and the right person and my life has helped prepare me for this.
Some people might think that these are just the thoughts of a single girl comforting herself about her single-ness, and, well, that's probably partially true. But I love my life. I love the things I can look back on and the place I am in right now. And I know that when Heavenly Father sends the right guy my way, it's going to be another huge blessing. Until then, I just have to wait patiently, knowing that as I do my part, Heavenly Father is doing His and blessing the path my life is on with a million wonderful things and people.
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