Oh the joys of being gf

No, I don't mean girlfriend. I mean gluten free. Yep, I have been (mostly) gluten free for about 3 1/2 years now.

No, I'm not dead. A lot of people tell me, mostly guys, "I would DIE if I couldn't eat wheat!" But here I am, still living and breathing, and living a lot better than I was before, might I add.

What happens when I eat wheat? Well let me divulge once and for all. I get sick. Not just kinda sick, as in I walk around whining, "my tummy hurts", but pretty grossly sick. Stomach pains that make me curl up in fetal position, throwing up my guts every hour or so, complete inability to eat for 3 to 7 days at a time, thus resulting in rapid weight-loss, (I know, it's a great crash diet) other non-mentionable things that make me blush to talk about... I think you get it. So, I am HAPPY, that's right, HAPPY not to eat wheat. I'll whine and complain a bit on occasion, I'm only human, and we humans don't always know what's good for us. But it's okay. I'm okay.

But today I have two complaints to make about being gluten free. The first is Costco.

Trips to Costco used to be sheer joy. You know why. Because you can eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, all in ten minutes by making the rounds to the sample tables. Oh, and you can wash it down with a juice sample too. Now, as I walk through the store, not only am I denied the simple pleasure of sampling, but I look like a total stuck-up snob as I ever-so-politely refuse almost every single sample. Those nice old ladies have faced a lot of rejection from this girl. So, I always face a mild onset of depression when shopping at Costco. What do I have to say to that store? I'm truly, sincerely, not trying to offend everything you stand for, Costco. I still love your free samples, even if I can only imagine how good they are.

 Complaint number 2. My weight. Okay, so I have been told by many a female, "Well at least you won't gain weight!" False. TOTALLY false. First of all, when you have a gluten intolerance, it causes your body to not absorb a lot of nutrients in the food you eat, and so it can actually keep you skinnier (see people who look like they can eat anything and never gain a pound). I was that way. Before I went off gluten, I was 5, sometimes 10 pounds lighter than I am now. Refer to me previously mentioning the crash diet thing. Also, I find maaaannnnyyyyy ways to still eat junk food. Four words, chips ice cream candy. So I guess my main complaint is this; ladies, when I look like I may have put on an extra pound or two, please don't look at me and think, "She has no excuse, she's like totally on the Atkins diet permanently, OMG." Okay, so I know you wouldn't think that, but yes, I DO have the capacity to gain weight, and pretty easily I might add.

First gf pizza crust I tried. It wasn't great, but you learn as you go :) We have since found better.

So being gf really isn't that bad. Yes, it was hard at first, I went into denial a lot. ( the state of mind, not the river) But now I can have pizza, pasta, cookies, cake, lots of things as long as they are made specially. And guess what! Bj's Brewery now has gf pizookies!! I have yet to try them though. The last frontier; Olive Garden breadsticks. ttfn!!