Saturn

As a lot of you know, I own a very nice, economical, sporty, high-powered, luxurious, cute vehicle. Okay, only 2 parts of that sentence were truthful. Economical, and in my humble opinion, cute. I drive a Saturn. It's such a nice car that it doesn't even have a name. It has a model number.

I've driven the thing since I got my license way back in high school. It's always gotten good gas mileage, which is a plus when you live in BFE. But apparently Saturn as a company didn't do too well, so they no longer make cars. That's right, guys. I now drive what I consider to be a classic. Something that isn't made anymore and is out of date and pretty much not super popular.

I have a short story to tell you, then I will tell you an awesome idea I had.

I was out shopping the other day at one of my favorite stores. I won't say which store because I'm super embarrassed about it. But I will just say that I can get awesome camis and t-shirts there for really cheap and so that's why I love it. Well they had in this store a giant, magnetic mustache that could be attached to my car. Now, as if my car didn't have ENOUGH personality of its own, I was thinking this moo-stache would be the perfect addition. I even went so far as to fantasize about me driving down the road in my moo-stachio'd car and getting all kinds of reactions outta people. But I've also been trying, TRYING, to save my money and be more financially smart. So I told myself that this moo-stache was a frivolous (Big word, huh) purchase and I was able to walk away from this store holding my head high because I had not given in to temptation. Well my head was actually more turned back toward the store because I was longing to turn T-Mu into a moo-stachio'd sir. Oh yeah, T-Mu is my car's name. It's pronounced T-MOO, like what cows say. So later on in the day, I was doing some shopping at walmart (I know you must be wondering, what store is worse than walmart that she can't admit to shopping at? I shall let it remain a mystery) And this guy was giving out free car magnets for every donation, and the proceeds were going to veterans and breast cancer and such. So of course I donated cuz I'm the world's biggest sap and pushover. So now I'm excited because even though it's not a mustache, my car will now have a "support our troops" bumper
sticker/magnet. I go back to my car and first thing I do is pull this bumper magnet out and try to stick it on. It won't stick. I try every area of the rear end of T-Mu and it doesn't stick anywhere. "Well," I figured to myself, "this magnet just isn't magnety enough." But to be sure, I was going to try it on one of the other family vehicles. I get home and slap it on my mom's car, and, tadaaah! It sticks. So now I know, the Saturn that I drive is not made of enough materials with metal properties for magnets to stick. If I had bought that mustache, it would have had to adorn someone's giant fridge instead of my car. Basically, I'm driving a plastic hotwheels car. In fact, I think hotwheels are made of sturdier materials.Nice to know the little fake driver in a hotwheels car is safe while I'm praying for my life every time I pass a semi on the road now.

There are still lots of benefits to driving my little Saturn. For example, when I get a flat, I can just go snatch a tire off my sister's electric scooter and pop it on my car and T-Mu will be good as new. Or there's there fact that, as a clean freak, my car is so small it takes me seconds to vacuum it out. Plus having a car as AWESOME as mine is always a great conversation starter. ANNNND, I've gotten way more flexible from having to unlock all the doors manually every time I give people rides. Really, the unseen benefits are endless. Also, this brings me to a weekly wisecrack. Last night, after eating at BWW, Kimmy and I were walking back to my car. I asked her if my front tire looked a little flat. She said, "No, I think it's just always that small."

Now for my idea. You know how all jeep wrangler drivers do that wave thing to each other? You know, cuz they are so much cooler than us? (I've wanted a white jeep wrangler ever since the thought of owning a car popped into my head) Well I thought of something for us Saturn drivers. The Saturn Shrug. Hear me out.

Every time people with Saturns pass each other, they will just look at each other and raise their shoulders, hands, and eyebrows in a shrug that says, "Well, at least we have a car."

Take a look at this hot rod. I probably shouldn't have posted a picture of it cuz now you all are taken in fits of
extreme jealousy. As well you should be.

If any of you also own a Saturn, this one's for you.

The official "Saturn Shrug"

This is the kind of stuff I think up when I'm taking one of my many trips into town.

Peace and blessings!